Stupid Betting/Smart Lipo
Sorry I've been away. Especially since I know I would've nailed the TTA stakes at Sam Houston this weekend. When I read about them last week, without even handicapping, I had two thoughts...
1. Wrenice will be a good bet, because she had such a bad trip at Delta but everyone will think she can't get the distance.
2. One of those Asmussen colts will win because, well, that's just the way it works around here. And when he's got four or however many in a stakes, you bet the inexperienced ones that are unproven, but you know are in there for a reason. Hello, Tiffany Jennifer!
So I don't regret going to Mardi Gras and leaving Texas behind for a few days, even if the Al Stall-Wes Hawley exacta I cashed at Fair Grounds on Sunday doesn't make up for what I might've made on 30-1 Banquo in the Jim's Orbit division of the Texas Stallion Stakes. But man it would have been nice to be at Sam Houston on Saturday.
Anyway, this weekend at Hou we have the Tomball Stakes, and it just so happens that right now on Fox-26 News at 9 they're showing live footage of a cosmetic surgery in progress in the Houston suburb of Tomball. Why I have no idea, because now it's over and I didn't turn the volume up in time, but they'll be checking back later and I'll be sure to fill you in.
In any case, nominees for the Tomball, for older Texas-breds at 8.5 furlongs on turf, are impressive. It's a lot of the usual suspects, but it could be a meeting of some of our favorites: Agrivating General, Dreamsandvisions, General Charley, Goosey Moose, Northern Scene, and Sandburr.
Live from Tomball on Fox-26, they're showing a new surgical procedure to remove fat, available in Texas exclusively at this one place in Tomball. It involves a laser, but it also apparently involves a large scalpel in your side. I still don't get it really, but they just had a teaser promising more details later in the newscast.
OK, it's something called Smart Lipo and the anchors are doing a talkback right now with the patient, who says she's very comfortable and is doing this laser/needle surgery for a nicer figure. So it's not a scalpel, but a needle to tighten up the colagen under the skin. It costs $4,000 for the first part of your body, and $2,000 for each additional location. You can go home the same night, and in 10 minutes the Fox-26 audience gets to see the results. Apparently it's all the rage in Tomball. They didn't clarify, though, whether $4,000 gets you one spot on both sides of your body. Say you want your butt done, is it $4,000 for one cheek and $2,000 for the other, or just a flat $4,000?
By the way, I'm not making this crap up. How could I and why would I want to? I just happened to be writing this and had the news on after American Idol and wouldn't you know it, Tomball is the backdrop for tonight's big "news" story. Now there's a "race" of sorts on Fox-26, where they've been promising to show the results at 9:45, but it's only five minutes away and this poor woman is still on the operating table with a huge needle stuck in her side! Please God, don't let her die! And please God, don't let her still be slightly obese! Where is House when we need him?
OK, she's done, and she's alive. The laser "literally melted the fat," which was then "sucked out by the needle."
Oh man, what a scam. All night they set it up as if we would see this woman's results, and then they just showed images of "typical results." I feel so cheated, so used. It'll be two weeks until this lady can take off the bandages and see how she looks, and they have no plans to show that on Fox-26. Lame!
Enough about this. Check back before the weekend for horse-by-horse analysis of the Tomball Stakes.
1. Wrenice will be a good bet, because she had such a bad trip at Delta but everyone will think she can't get the distance.
2. One of those Asmussen colts will win because, well, that's just the way it works around here. And when he's got four or however many in a stakes, you bet the inexperienced ones that are unproven, but you know are in there for a reason. Hello, Tiffany Jennifer!
So I don't regret going to Mardi Gras and leaving Texas behind for a few days, even if the Al Stall-Wes Hawley exacta I cashed at Fair Grounds on Sunday doesn't make up for what I might've made on 30-1 Banquo in the Jim's Orbit division of the Texas Stallion Stakes. But man it would have been nice to be at Sam Houston on Saturday.
Anyway, this weekend at Hou we have the Tomball Stakes, and it just so happens that right now on Fox-26 News at 9 they're showing live footage of a cosmetic surgery in progress in the Houston suburb of Tomball. Why I have no idea, because now it's over and I didn't turn the volume up in time, but they'll be checking back later and I'll be sure to fill you in.
In any case, nominees for the Tomball, for older Texas-breds at 8.5 furlongs on turf, are impressive. It's a lot of the usual suspects, but it could be a meeting of some of our favorites: Agrivating General, Dreamsandvisions, General Charley, Goosey Moose, Northern Scene, and Sandburr.
Live from Tomball on Fox-26, they're showing a new surgical procedure to remove fat, available in Texas exclusively at this one place in Tomball. It involves a laser, but it also apparently involves a large scalpel in your side. I still don't get it really, but they just had a teaser promising more details later in the newscast.
OK, it's something called Smart Lipo and the anchors are doing a talkback right now with the patient, who says she's very comfortable and is doing this laser/needle surgery for a nicer figure. So it's not a scalpel, but a needle to tighten up the colagen under the skin. It costs $4,000 for the first part of your body, and $2,000 for each additional location. You can go home the same night, and in 10 minutes the Fox-26 audience gets to see the results. Apparently it's all the rage in Tomball. They didn't clarify, though, whether $4,000 gets you one spot on both sides of your body. Say you want your butt done, is it $4,000 for one cheek and $2,000 for the other, or just a flat $4,000?
By the way, I'm not making this crap up. How could I and why would I want to? I just happened to be writing this and had the news on after American Idol and wouldn't you know it, Tomball is the backdrop for tonight's big "news" story. Now there's a "race" of sorts on Fox-26, where they've been promising to show the results at 9:45, but it's only five minutes away and this poor woman is still on the operating table with a huge needle stuck in her side! Please God, don't let her die! And please God, don't let her still be slightly obese! Where is House when we need him?
OK, she's done, and she's alive. The laser "literally melted the fat," which was then "sucked out by the needle."
Oh man, what a scam. All night they set it up as if we would see this woman's results, and then they just showed images of "typical results." I feel so cheated, so used. It'll be two weeks until this lady can take off the bandages and see how she looks, and they have no plans to show that on Fox-26. Lame!
Enough about this. Check back before the weekend for horse-by-horse analysis of the Tomball Stakes.
posted by Jimbo @ 2/21/2007 08:45:00 PM
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